Get yourself jacked—
The colder months can leave the best of us feeling—well, basic. At EKR we have a solution to turn that around and get you completely lumberjacked! FLANNEL—Soft, comfortable, dapper plaid attire that will get you swolled, boost your creativity, and give you swagger like nothing else can.
Results Speak for Themselves
- Get completely swolled, no effort required
- Emit an attractive, natural musk
- Rapid beard growth*
- Drink maple syrup straight—straight out of the tree
- Shave with a hatchet–even a dull one
- Guy on a buffalo—need we say more
- Become a sexy beast
- Cure lame boringness
- Pay off your student loans
- Do that thing where you can snuff out a candle with just your fingers
- Find your true love
- Become IG famous
- Pick a fight with a grizzly bear and win. But then become friends and invite him over for dinner cause that’s just you now
- Detox naturally—no more chili-lemon tonics
- Automatically bond with a direwolf
- End world hunger
*May not be appealing at first, especially for the women. Just trust us, nothing is as satisfying as growing a full face-mane!
Don’t Take Our Word For It
I knew I needed help. I put the flannel on and the universe was opened up to me!
(Formerly known as Allie Bills)
Before I found flannel, I was a nobody. But now, My acne is clearing up, I don’t sweat through my shirts anymore and, I wear patterned socks to the office—to the office!
(Formerly known as Steve Hunt)
Ever since I got lumberjacked, I’ve become a flannel convert. Flannel shirts, pants, socks, hats, underwear. Flannel drapes. Flannel toilet seats. Every night I serve flan with flannel flatware. I even voted flannel for president!
(Formerly known as Chris Seamons)
I noticed the change from the first day of wearing flannel. I felt stronger, bolder. My muscles were blowing out my shirts. My facial hair grew twice as fast. My wife was ecstatic!
(Formerly known as Lance Black)
Flannel strong. Flannel make blood like snake venom. Flannel put hair on chest. Flannel put hair on chest hair. Flannel [indecipherable] fight off angry wolf pack. Flannel put fire in muscles.
(Formerly known as Rico Celis)
At first I was skeptical about what flannel could do for me.
But I’ve been living deep in the forest for three days. I cut down trees and built a cabin. I’m wearing the skin of a mountain lion that tried to take me down—MISTAKE!
(Formerly known as Sam Thorup)
Yep, we put me in the testimonials too. You already know I’m Lumberjacked, just look at me! I. Am. Gorgeous! The truth is, we needed an even number of testimonials so the grid would work.
(Formerly known as Larry)
I didn’t think flannel could help me, I was so un-epic—But now I sleep on freshly cut pine logs—the real scratchy stuff that digs into the face and gives the beard a mighty fine sap glossing.
(Formerly known as Christian Jessen)
From the Bottom of our Hearts
Without you, our Flannel Season wouldn’t be as warm. We are sincerely grateful for the friendships we have, and we thank you for letting us stretch our creativity to try to bring a smile to your face each year.